When thought only looks for the least painful way to die, it is that hope has already disappeared and the only wish you dream of is to end once and for all with the insufferable physical pain, who has turned his last 30 years of life into hell. This is how the life that suffers is described Damiana Alemanya 60-year-old woman who has been denied her right to receive euthanasia. “I’ve been dreaming about assisted dying for years because I’ve decided that I’ve had enough of suffering any more pain and I don’t want to become a burden to anyone.” According to the latest data provided by the Ministry of Health, dating back to last June, six people received euthanasia in Baleaes throughout 2022. That same year, a total of 25 applications were submitted. Damiana asked for it too.
Today she lives alone in the town of Ariany. The short distance between the living room and the door is already an ordeal. She can barely take a few steps in a row because she loses her breath and her pain is so strong that she barely lets her move. But even though her face reflects a pain that is difficult to imagine, she makes up for it with a smile. Because he always looks for a good reason to be in a good mood and he has decided that he will not continue to live long. “Even if they don’t grant me euthanasia, there are many other methods to die. It takes time planning my death and I won’t be living long.”
Despite this terrible announcement, Damiana affirms without blinking: “I like life. I am in love with it, but I can’t continue like this. I suffer so much pain that I can’t take it anymore. I have never liked suicide, that’s why I demanded euthanasia. But I think the time has come to leave this life because I feel nothing but pain and you can’t live like that.”
He fell ill at the age of 26
This woman started feeling sick when she turned 26 years old. It was a very rare case. She was diagnosed with a neurological disease incurable. At first it started with some discomfort, but now the situation is unbearable. “It is difficult for someone who does not know me to understand what is happening to me. It is as if a drill It would go through my entire brain. And this is the pain I suffer every day.”
Although she had six children, Damiana is alone. She has not been able to raise any of her children and she has not exactly had an easy life. To her illness we must add a very complicated family situation. Her alcoholic husband mistreated and the environment in their house was not the most suitable for raising children. That is why the authorities took them away from him and since then he has lived apart from them, although they know what his situation is and the pain he suffers.
However, Damiana affirms that loneliness is not the reason why she wants to die, “but it is the intense pain that I suffer and that never stops.” This suffering does not grant him the slightest respite. “I’m getting worse and there is no medication that can relieve the severe pain I suffer. I still have a little dignity and I don’t want to die bedridden without being able to move. Before this happens, I prefer to end all this.” torment”.
The woman speaks sitting in a wheelchair. In front of him there is a table and on it the pile of medications that he has to take. She doesn’t even know how many pills she takes a day, but if she didn’t the pain would be even worse.
His passion has always been reading and he has been able to write some short stories that have been published in a book. In her narrative he creates a character he calls Frana, a woman whom he one day dreamed of being able to resemble, but whose pain has distanced him more and more from her.
“My hope of being cured has disappeared”
Although he announces that “it won’t take me long to make the decision to die,” his story is very coherent. His words are full of reasons that explain that his daily life is torment and that the intense pain he suffers does not allow him to enjoy life. The woman only has fond memories of the doctors who have tried to help her since she fell ill, even though they can’t do anything to cure her. Like her, she also fondly remembers the patients she has met in the long months she has spent admitted to the hospital. Her neurological disease has been causing other health problems, such as diabetes or a lung ailment that barely lets you breathe.
He doesn’t care about anything anymore: “My hope of being cured has disappeared,” but he complains above all that he doesn’t receive any type of social help. “No one comes home. I am a dependent person, but I don’t receive any social assistance. Since I can’t move, my house is dirty and this dirt is causing me many infections. But I don’t have anyone to cure them, because they don’t want to come to my house. home and I’m getting worse.”
Damiana claims that Ariany’s doctor does not come to her home to visit her either. “He tells me that I can walk to the doctor’s office, but he doesn’t know the pain that this trip causes me.”
This woman was born in Palm, but he feels very comfortable in the town where he lives. And above all, she appreciates how the pharmacist, who brings the medicines to her house, and the supermarket workers, who every time she needs an urgent product, also take it to her. “I live from the charitybut I am very grateful to these people who are aware that I feel very bad.
“I said goodbye to the few friends I still have left”
Damiana Alemany was sure that the medical authorities would accept her to enter the euthanasia protocol. She was so convinced that she even “me I fired of the few friends I still have left.” The patient had the support of the two doctors who best know her condition, who approved her proposal to undergo assisted death. However, the Guarantees Committee that studies each euthanasia proposal He commissioned a review by another doctor and a lawyer, and the conclusion was that I did not deserve this assistance. “A doctor who has not seen me in my life and who has never spoken to me says that since medications can help me get rid of the pain, I do not have right to euthanasia. However, doctors who have known me for years believe that the best thing for me would be to die because my future is to be bedridden for life, unable to move. I suffer a lot, but I still have some dignity left and I am very clear that what I do not want is to remain bedridden for the rest of my life.
While detailing this harsh narrative of what her life has been like in the last 30 years, Damiana tries to explain it with a good face and always with a smile on her lips. To keep a good memory of her, he has prepared a small snack for her visitors. Before they arrived, she painted her lips to look better in the photos. She wants to say goodbye to this life by making a good impression. “Crying won’t make the pain go away and that’s why I look for any excuse to smile. It’s the little I have left, because I don’t want to feel sorry, I want to be remembered with a smile.”
Think about your bitch
If he has not tried to take his life before, it is because he thinks more about his dog than about her, he confesses. “If I die now it will take many days to find my body and I don’t want my dog to die of hunger.” He is looking for a solution, which involves sending his dog to Galicia. There is a person there who is willing to keep it.
Since she has been thinking more about death for so long than about continuing to live, Damiana has already written her living will. In this story she details the reasons why she has made the decision to end her life, “a decision aware and in full mental faculties.” In addition, she announces her desire to leave her body to science and have it used to study her illness. And she also asks that her death not be communicated to any family member, because she wants to leave alone, just as she has lived in recent years, that is, without the company of anyone. “I will leave this world with a smile and with a glass of wine, even if I don’t drink, but I think I deserve it for how much I have suffered.”